Your news feed still reliably containing the photo of a teenage J-Timberlake at the beginning of May every year. PGP.

Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, never been sicker. PGP

Too lazy to take out my contacts every night. Too poor to afford Lasik. PGP.

“So I know we’ve been talking recently of you being promoted, but…”

“To the first of many birthdays spent in a cubicle” – My supervisor. PGP

I now officially have a favorite brand of cough drops. PGP.

Threw out my lower back playing corn hole at a brewery this weekend. PGP

Requested PTO to take off last Thursday. The request is still pending. I took off last Thursday regardless. PGPM.