The internet is super slow because everyone is streaming the Masters

Only person on my floor who can physically put in a new water jug on the cooler. PGP

Got a 2 out of 3 on my performance exam for attendance. I haven’t missed a day of work since 2014. PGP.

“Let’s meet after 5pm – is that too late for you?” Uhhhh… PGP.

Occasionally chugging a cheap beer just to feel alive again. PGP.

The only productive thing I’ve done today is fill out my bracket. PGP

Just got my first work wife. She just put in her two-weeks. PGP.

She let our Bumble connection expire

I got way too excited when I found out my new job has a parking garage. PGP

Manager gave me tickets to the NCAA tournament and a half day off for “networking purposes.” PGPM