“I’d rather have a beer.” -Sideburns. PGP.

Walking to the vending machine Friday afternoon and wishing you could have a Budweiser instead of a Coke. PGP.

The kief catcher on my grinder is the closest thing I have to a savings account. PGP.

At this point, I could consider myself a born again virgin. PGP.

Realizing that everyone has a bachelor’s degree and your time and money spent in college made you average. PGP.

The guy without a college degree making twice as much as me. PGP.

Last night, I had a sex dream. Didn’t even wake up with a boner. PGP.

I still have an iPhone 4. PGP.

My co-worker said he had the “gift of gab,” but really he has the “curse of not being able to shut the fuck up”. PGP.

My paycheck bounced. PGP.