People you don’t know who know your name

So apparently there are people whose job is to go to conventions, get piss drunk, and push their company. I was never told about this career path. PGP.

Just got promoted and relocated to a new office. 400 miles away. PGP

“I figured this would have been done by now”. PGP.

My ex-girlfriend got a boob job.

Turbo Tax being a condescending asshole by asking me “Did you buy a house this year?” PGP.

Playing phone tag with clients. PGP

Signing out of your LinkedIn profile so other people don’t see when you visit their profile. PGP.

Intentionally requesting PTO the Friday before a Monday holiday. PGPM

When you’re work crutch leaves early and you’re afraid to ask anyone else how to do your job.