Failed attempts at morning sex before work. PGP.

The guy in the stall next to mine said “Bless you” when I sneezed. PGP.

Being invited to set up the family Easter egg hunt instead of participating in it. PGP

Being judged now for wearing backwards hats. PGP

Putting your office goggles on can easily turn that 5 down the hall into a solid 8. I’ve got to get out more. PGP

I can’t wear slim fit shirts anymore.

Having friends that sell shit on facebook.

In order to get promoted at my office you have to accept a pay cut for 2 years.

The cellphone belt clip is the new pocket protector. PGP

Thirty minutes into Monday and the guy next to me has already told the same story four times. PGP.