Asked my new job to let me start in January so I could hold out for a Christmas bonus from job I was going to leave…… we only got a bucket of popcorn. PGP.

Being the only single person at your brother’s wedding. PGP.

In a span of just 12 days, I’ve managed to contract two different colds. PGP.

Already took two sick days, wished I could take a third. Boss refused to step inside my office, so yeah I’m looking and feeling great obviously. PGP.

Resolved a major crisis by coordinating across multiple teams, only to be chewed out by my manager for not telling her what I was doing. PGP.

I used to Facebook while drunk, but I recently switched to Linkedin. PGP.

The office prick reminding everyone Monday is only 3 days away. PGP.

Already planning for the raise I won’t be getting. PGP.