An unexpected bill side-lining your plans for the entire month. PGP.

1: “Why the shit do we have work tomorrow?” 2: “On the plus side, traffic will be light.” PGP.

Masturbating out of boredom. PGP.

A bad day on the golf course is better than a good day at the office. PGP.

How the hell did I ever stay up past 9:30? PGP.

“I’m thinking about getting my real estate license.” PGP.

The only time I ever wash my hands after going to the bathroom is when someone else is there. Even then, I pull a Costanza and just run some water. PGP.

1: “I work an 8-5.” 2: “You mean 9-5?” 1: “No. That’s a figment of your young imagination.” PGP.

Having to really think about inviting the girl you’re sleeping with over on a weeknight because you don’t want to be tired at work the next day. PGP.

Raging boner in dress pants. PGP.