Was in bed before the game was over. PGP.

The days just blur together, like episodes of Seinfeld after an Ambien. PGP.

Messaged a girl on tinder telling her how pretty she was. She unmatched me. PGP.

The new hire that started today is one one of my tinder matches.

Wedding receptions becoming the new formal. PGP

The chick I’ve been casually dating took a shit in my apartment.PGP

Somebody fucked with my chair.

I’ve come to only like click pens #pgp

I can never tell if my boss is joking or actually thinks I don’t do anything here. PGP.

The pressure of bringing a +1 to a company Christmas party is worse than your grandmother telling you how she’ll die before she ever gets grandkids.