Being ghosted by multiple companies that you interviewed with. PGP.

The new hires aren’t intimidated by me. PGP.

Being unreasonably excited for a Monday morning because Duda took a screenshot of my snap. PGP.

Realized at a high school grad party that I’m the drunk cousin. PGP.

Accepted an offer for a new job today and leave for Vegas tomorrow. My out of office is just going to be “I will be out Friday and not will not be returning.” PGP.

Went down a floor in my office building to throw up this morning so my co-workers don’t think I’m a degenerate. PGP.

Having a surplus of PTO and a shortage of funds to do anything with it. PGP.

Hungover right now because I got too drunk while fixing things around the house yesterday. PGP.

Turned down sex last weekend due to being too tired for the first time. I’m single. PGP.