My boss’s opening line in my preformance review was, “Do you even like this job?” Crap. PGP.

I was 150% productive yesterday; I’m about 30% productive today. It’s called balance. PGP.

I just taped an open bag of Goldfish to my desk to make snacking easier. Unsure whether it’s innovative or just kinda sad. PGP.

My boss came up to me and asked for motivation to get him through the day. PGP.

Left the office 15 minutes before I turned 23. PGP.

Dismissed for “lack of ambition” after personally choosing 9.5 hour days at the office. PGP.

Having to write the “I’m pretty sure I just really fucked up” email to your boss. PGP.

Replying all to ask people not to reply all. Oh, the irony. PGP.

Car got stolen. In the suburbs. PGP.

Boss tried to “updog” me this morning. PGP.