That soul crushing moment when you realize the report you’ve been working on for the last month will be glanced at once. If you’re lucky. PGP.

Giving yourself a pep talk in the parking lot, trying to get motivated to enter the building. PGP.

Your boss saying, “We’ll see,” meaning the same thing it did when your parents said it twenty years ago. PGP.

1: “Going to decorate your cube?” 2: “Someday. With my brain splatter.” PGP.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and say, “As little as possible.” PGP.

I feel like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can. Every day I go to my new job, dressing and acting like I belong, and wondering when they’ll figure out I don’t know shit. PGP.

Thinking of using the staple gun on your hand just so you can feel something..anything. PGP.

1: “So what are you working on right now?” 2: “Stuff.” PGP.

Working an event for your company at the local career fair and bringing your resume along to pass to other companies. PGP.

Your boss passive-aggressively signing you up for a time management seminar. PGP.