Raging boner in dress pants. PGP.

Taco Bell for breakfast because you were late for work. Taco Bell for dinner because you have no self respect. PGP.

Telling yourself, “Tomorrow’s another day,” before noon. PGP.

Answering the phone with a fake accent to make your day just a little more interesting. PGP.

Spending an extra 5-10 minutes in the stall after you’re done pooping just because you enjoy the silence. PGP.

Realizing you have 40 plus years before you can retire and have a life again. PGP.

Doing a phone interview from the parking lot of your current employer. PGP.

Putting things on your desk/walls so your boss won’t realize you’re planning to leave as soon as humanly possible. PGP.

My job is basically to get yelled at all day for things that were in no way my fault. PGP.

“Are you busy?” is an absurd trap of a trick question. PGP.