You know you’re getting old when your friends all start having planned pregnancies. PGP.

Accidentally submitted a column as a wall post. PGP.

Didn’t blackout during my entire visit to my parents’ house. It’s a Christmas miracle!! PGP.

Only one in the office today because I haven’t been here long enough to burn some PTO days. PGP.

Went with my pops to meet his coworkers at local dive, ended up shacking with his secretary. PGP.

Went on a date in my home town with a girl from high school. The bartender was my dad’s best friend and the only other couple there was my neighbors. PGP.

Trying to figure out the socially acceptable time to start drinking at the family Christmas party. PGP.

I share a computer with our intern. PGP.

One of my work friends got engaged today meanwhile I fucked my ex. PGP.

The 40 plus dudes have absolutely no remorse about destroying a stall and then coming out and chatting you up like you didn’t hear what just happened in there. Friends noticed this where they work too. It’s a thing. PGP.