Being a democrat in college and a republican after your first paycheck. PGP.

1: “It’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” 2: “Yeah, but we really need it.” PGP.

I’m looking for a friend with competitive benefits. Less sexting and more 401k. PGP.

Caught myself tapping my foot along to the on-hold music. PGP.

My boss forgot she wasn’t talking to her husband and accidentally said, “I love you,” to me on the phone last night. PGP.

I think I may be the epitome of what’s wrong with this generation. PGP.

Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

“Well, looks like someone had fun last night.” PGP.

Pre-gaming a concert with a nap. PGP.