I just saw a bird crash into the window, break its neck, and fall to it’s death. Lucky bastard. PGP.

I wish my boss had more vacation time. PGP.

Sometimes when I’m feeling adventurous I’ll slip in a “Love you!” right before hanging up with a client. PGP.

1: “Turn that down.” 2: “Turn down for WHAT!?” 1: “No, seriously. Turn your music off, I’m on the line with a customer.” PGP.

I can’t remember the last time I smiled a genuine smile. PGP.

Seriously considering purposely shitting your pants to leave work early. PGP.

Bought tickets for a concert on a weekday over two months ago. Sold them yesterday because I didn’t want to stay out too late. PGP.

I’m gonna just ride the rest of this day out on the toilet. PGP.

1: “It’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” 2: “Yeah, but we really need it.” PGP.

Getting caught checking Tinder while on a date with a girl you met on Tinder. PGP.