I brought in a box of donuts this morning and watched three people’s New Year’s resolutions crumble to pieces. PGPM.

I got a raise and have no idea how or why it happened. I’m not asking questions. PGP.

Last meal of 2014, frozen pizza. First meal of 2015, frozen pizza. PGP.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.

Monday, you son of a bitch. PGP.

All I want for Christmas is for my coworkers to stop talking about their kids. PGP.

I saw a coworker outside of work and walked to the complete other side of the parking lot to a random store just to avoid having to say hi. PGP.

Cousin Eddie being unemployed for seven years because he’s holding out for a management position. PGP.

Christmas party? Nope. Christmas Bonus? Nope. We don’t even get a Jelly of the Month club membership here. PGP.

Making more money than I ever have in my life, still managing to be broke as fuck. PGP.