My condoms expired. PGP.

Another day, another dollar. Well after taxes and inflation, it’s more like 72 cents. PGP.

Just asked my intern what I’m supposed to be doing. PGP.

Only shitting when on the clock. PGPM.

That conference call was so productive I found four jobs to apply for. PGP.

I just want someone to help me pay rent and also have sex with. PGP.

Completed a 26.2 episode marathon. Special thanks to Netflix for believing in me. PGP.

Spent over five hours of company time playing Oregon Trail, making up for all the elementary school sessions that my teachers cut short. PGP.

99% of my work is done in 5 minute bursts. PGP.

Commandeering the fancy desk chair of a senior coworker immediately after they leave the company. PGPM.