Netflix autopay just overdrafted my checking account. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. PGP.

Just told a joke to the guy in the cube next to me. He wasn’t there. PGP.

Getting so bored at work that you actually do work. PGP.

Just got a raise. Still poor. PGP.

Knowing exactly how far you can drive with the “empty gas tank” light on. PGP.

The amount of work I didn’t do today almost makes me feel guilty. Almost. PGP.

The feeling of sheer joy when someone cancels plans. PGP.

38 minutes late to work today because I jacked off in the shower this morning. I didn’t even finish. PGP.