Coworkers acting like they’ve never seen a Catholic on Ash Wednesday. PGP.

Not getting laid for 40 days and telling everyone you gave up sex for Lent. PGP.

I have got to stop drinking like I’m still in college. PGP.

The last two girls I have been with have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

My paycheck feels like a participation award. PGP.

Not only have my friends been getting married, but now some of them are getting divorced. PGP.

Walking briskly through the office to create an illusion of being busy. PGP

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t at least a little tired. PGP

Coworker was telling me about his ex-wife. I don’t even have a girlfriend. PGP.

“Other duties as assigned” being the only accurate part of your job description. PGP.