I just changed my Netflix password and got angry texts from three of my exes. HBO Go is next. PGPM.

One of these days, I’m going to scream “Shut the fuck up” out loud instead of in my head. PGP.

Seeing something NSFW online and immediately going to your phone to look at it. PGP.

The printer at work was making a painfully high pitched noise, and I was the only one young enough to hear it. PGP.

Getting up to go to the bathroom out of boredom, not necessity. PGP.

I have literally zero control over how much I drink whenever I go out. PGP.

Talking about corporate the way I used to talk about Nationals in college. PGP.

Just gave my two weeks during my annual performance review. DOBBY IS A FREE ELF. PGP.

Performance review anxiety season. PGP.

Was just endorsed on LinkedIn for customer satisfaction by the girl I’ve been hooking up with. PGP.