I just want someone to help me pay rent and also have sex with. PGP.

Just realized I read and enjoyed an article ranking types of milk. PGP.

99% of my work is done in 5 minute bursts. PGP.

I brought in a box of donuts this morning and watched three people’s New Year’s resolutions crumble to pieces. PGPM.

My company not having its shit together is the only thing keeping me from being fired. PGP.

Facebook reminding me that I had a really shitty year. PGP.

Cousin Eddie being unemployed for seven years because he’s holding out for a management position. PGP.

Making more money than I ever have in my life, still managing to be broke as fuck. PGP.

My life is now basically just waiting until I get to go to sleep again and then not being able to fall asleep when that time comes. PGP.

My bank account sits at -$13.47. I am worth negative one medium, no topping pizza. PGP.