On Saturday, I feel asleep at 7pm because I had nothing better to do. PGP

For a brief, wonderful moment, I completely forgot what day it was. PGP

My chair makes fart noises every time I shift in my seat. PGP

Leaving your debit card at the bar. PGP.

The only NFL games I can afford are in the preseason. PGP.

Saved money all week to go out this weekend and I got a speeding ticket on the way into work.

James Harden gets 200 million from Adidas and I can’t even get a key card to park in the work garage.

The excitement of a new Tinder match, followed by the disappointment of it not being human. PGP

Constantly forwarding emails I sent to my boss to him again because he’s “pretty sure” he wasn’t copied on it. PGP.

I am at the biological peak of my life and spend it at a desk