Idiot Proposes At Red Sox Game And Gets Exactly What He Deserves

Y’all gotta stop this proposing at sporting events shit.

I can’t think of a worse place to propose than a live sporting even, besides like a funeral or something. Last night at Fenway Park, one of the most consistently packed baseball stadiums in the world, some dumbass took the L he absolutely deserved.

Good job dipshit, I hope she’s breaking up with you for good for putting her in that spot.

Even if you’re 110% sure that your girlfriend is going to say yes, never ever propose at a live sporting event. Back when I interned in Minor League Baseball we’d sometimes have proposals at the game (if you’re proposing at a Class-A baseball game your marriage deserves to go up in flames anyways) and I’d always root for a rejection.

Unless you’ve been told specifically to propose on camera at a sporting event don’t do it, because you’re inviting in the following scenarios, and only one is that good:

1. She wants to marry you, loves that it’s at a stadium, and says yes.

2. She wants to marry you, but is so red-faced, nervous, and riddled with stage fright that she can’t even enjoy the moment.

3. She’s goddamn mortified to have this be happening because she didn’t want to marry your stupid ass, but says yes to avoid embarrassment for both of you, then pulls the ring off as soon as you get in private and deservedly crushes you.

4. She drops the fucking hammer on you in front of 30K people and all of the internet to see.

L of the century.

The idea of the sporting even proposal needs to be taken out behind the shed and shot.

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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