Got food poisoning on the second day of my honeymoon. PGP.

Browning out during the office gift exchange and forgetting to take home your present. PGP.

My ‘if we’re not married by’ just posted that she and her perfect husband are expecting their 2nd child. At least I have an InstaPot. PGP.

My grad school professor said “let’s get into it” 10 times tonight and I keep waiting for Dave to walk in. PGP.

Feeling proud for stopping at three beers… at lunch meeting. PGP.

That one neighbor who doesn’t shovel his portion of the sidewalk…oh wait that was me. PGP.

My ex “likes” all my siblings’ posts on social media. PGP.

I just found out that my boss is being fired. I have to coordinate a meeting to deliver the news. PGP.

Responding to sales emails with a clip of Chevy Chase saying “Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass, Kiss His Ass, Kiss Your Ass.” PGP.

My boss tried to argue with me that Wisconsin is in the eastern time zone. Twice. PGP.

Office’s computer network was hacked so all systems are down. I’ve being doing newspaper puzzles all morning and getting paid for it. PGP.

I fell asleep at 10 p.m. and now I actually feel like working. PGP.

The most junior guy just gave his 2-week notice today. He’s only been here for a month. PGP.

Coworker just told me I should hit on our FedEx delivery man. PGP.

My annual raise doesn’t even cover inflation. PGP.

Had my annual review on a Wednesday. After that, I learned that Wednesday Scaries are a thing. PGP.

Just bought an ice scraper for my car. I live in Florida. PGP.

The National Championship: ruining sober Januarys for over a hundred years. PGP.

Got to work later than usual only to discover that a coworker disconnected my laptop and took my monitor before I got in. PGP.

Team-wide argument is breaking out over email. PGP.