The guy that hovers at your desk in silence waiting for you to start a conversation. PGP

I can’t believe I was excited to start this job.

The notification of the meeting you’re supposed to be in interrupting your fantasy line-up research. PGP

Running out of excuses to take time off for interviews. PGP.

I work for my girlfriends Dad and he promoted her before me. She’s been here 3 months. I’ve been here 2 years. PGP.

The most depressing part of my day is knowing that I will never feel as good as I do right now with that first cup of coffee in my hand. PGP.

Check engine. PGP.

I used to listen to music, now I listen to TED talks while I work. PGP

Counting the length of my pre-workout-induced poop as cardio. PGP.

Starbucks getting your name wrong on your cup PGP

2am panic attacks over nothing in particular

The sweet smell of no new emails in the morning.