Forecast reports. PGP

Today I witnessed some savage animal walk into the stall with a full mug of coffee and proceed to shart violently. PGP.

Won “employee of the year” yet my annual review states my performance “met expectations”. #pgp

I caused a toilet to overflow in my floor’s bathroom and everyone knows it. PGP.

I got excited about Black Friday deals, and then remembered I have to work Black Friday.

Always volunteering to pick up lunch so I can extend that break from work an extra 20 minutes. PGP

Adjusting my federal withholding to make it feel like I got a raise. PGP

The highlight of my day was going to Chipotle. PGP

People I haven’t talked to in over 15 years giving me LinkedIn endorsements. PGP.

First egg nog cocktail of the season. PGP.

Got assigned my first solo business trip. Got cancelled because I’m not old enough to rent a car. PGP.

“Can you work this Thanksgiving?”