Accidentally at a hipster farmers market and a man definitely just said he was on a parasite cleanse. PGP

Anytime a co-worker asks me what I’ve been up to at work, the go to response is: “Just been putting out some fires”

My coworker is loudly playing music on Monday morning. It’s fucking Monday. PGP.

Knowing what kind of a day it’s going to be based on that first trip to the bathroom

“Here’s something I’ve noticed about you…” PGP

I got to sleep in til 6:30 today.

The dreaded warm toilet seat. PGP.

I almost quit today. PGP.

My last 3 LinkedIn profile views were Tinder matches… PGP.

Being invited to set up the family Easter egg hunt instead of participating in it. PGP

The expected turn-around times for deliverables make me wonder if they actually expect me to continue working at home every night. PGP.

“Let’s meet after 5pm – is that too late for you?” Uhhhh… PGP.