Colleague with an email signature that starts with “cheers” and you both work in Midwest America. PGP.

All my friends post these days are their weekly meal prep photos. PGP.

Thank you, grad school, for reminding me about the terrible life decision I made freshman year. PGP.

The knock off air freshener smells worse than the shit it’s trying to mask. PGP.

Space Jam is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. PGP.

Wish I was a teacher today. PGP.

Too scared to expense in-flight wifi. PGP.

My dryer is my second dresser. PGP.

The cleaning crew set off the alarm last night, so there’s no toilet paper in the men’s room this morning. PGP.

Getting the Sunday Scaries even though you haven’t drank in weeks. PGP.

When Mint.com alerts me that I’m using 30% of my total credit & suggests I should lower it. PGP.

The supply closet hasn’t been restocked. PGP.

Sent a picture of the girl I’ve been dating to my dad. He said “…Her? Well I’m glad we didn’t raise you to be shallow…” PGP.

Are we still talking about the powerball? PGP.

Foregoing coffee to avoid conversation in the break room. PGP.

I’m so jacked for tax season. PGP.

My Boss and our secretary have daily conversations about their Magic The Gathering strategies. PGP.

Blowing my nose with old Starbucks napkins at work because employees lost “free tissue privileges” and are expected to bring them from home. PGP.

If I hear one more human being say “crushed it” I’m just gonna snap. PGP.

Still contemplating submitting my post-Powerball winning resignation letter despite not winning. PGP.