I Don’t Care About ‘Game Of Thrones’

I Don't Care About 'Game Of Thrones'

I was all in on Game of Thrones when the first season premiered on HBO. I had no idea it was an adaptation from a critically acclaimed book series and it was a refreshing break from Entourage, Californication, and other shows of that ilk. It even had Sean Bean in it, that guy from the Lord of the Rings movies. But like most television series, there is a shelf life. Things tend to get stale. I’d rather watch a two hour movie than go through watching seven-ten seasons of something with 50-minute episodes. It’s too much. And once that shelf life is reached (that’s usually around season three or four) it’s really difficult to get viewers back. I think there are a lot of people out there who aren’t watching GoT anymore. I am one of them.

I stopped watching Game of Thrones after Season 3 for several reasons. The first, and most important, was that I could no longer keep track of who was who and which characters were doing what. Not trying to have the Game of Thrones Wikipedia page pulled up to do fucking research on Sunday nights. Every time I’d watch the show, I’d inevitably say to myself “Oh yeah, that’s the one guy. He’s traveling somewhere…? I think?”

The majority of people out there who watch Game of Thrones are in this same boat, they’re just too embarrassed to admit it because people love shit that other people love. That’s part of human nature. GoT is confusing, magic isn’t real, and I just don’t give a shit anymore. It’s so big now that the drunk midget who everyone loves could literally get filmed taking a dump and there’d be a thousand reddit threads on the meaning behind it.

Almost as annoying as the confusion of the show are the people who post about it online and try to talk theories with me in real life.

The masses are watching some show written by and for dorks the world over? Better get in on this before I’m left behind!

GoT has gained this massive following because everyone needs something to bring up in conversation at their next dinner party or night out at the bar. Here’s some free advice: if you come up to me at a party to talk about your commute, tv shows, what you ate for dinner, or what you think about Donald Trump, I’m walking away ten times out of ten. Nobody wants to hear about that shit. It’s unoriginal and then I have to pretend to care because social norms require that I do so. Can’t we just play the would or wouldn’t game with girls that walk past us? Or better yet, let’s just play “Drink The Beer.” Everyone knows how to play that game. If you want to talk GoT theories go to your local dungeons and dragons shop (if those still exist) to do it. Make sure to bring a case of MTN DEW too!

Sure, it’s fun to escape reality and dive headfirst into some magical fantasy world. I get it. I was a huge Harry Potter fan growing up. The movies were just okay. But at 24? Maybe it’s time to tune out the wizarding world and take a walk outside or something. Better yet, if you really hate my take on this, just read the books by George R.R. Martin. Book versions of things are always, always better than their adapted counterparts. Most people won’t even come close to sniffing a copy of “A Song of Ice and Fire” because anything longer than a listicle from a website is just too much work.

But book people who watch the show are pretty awful too. There aren’t a whole lot of things worse than a person who reads a book and then watches the show or movie version and spends the entirety of it pointing out inconsistencies and muttering under their breath. Nauseating to be around, really. Guess what? If a movie or show went straight from a book Hollywood wouldn’t need screenwriters or directors. But screenwriters make or break what you deem good, or watchable. It’s the actors to an extent, but Aaron Sorkin can’t write for every tv show and it’s the reason why most pilots fail. It’s the people writing the scripts that make a movie a movie or an episode an episode.

You can cut out a ton of useless dialogue from a book because, well, it’s useless. Couple that with the fact that the average attention span for an adult human is five minutes and you understand why I don’t watch YouTube videos that people try to show me. My immediate response to “Have you seen this video? Super funny, let me just pull it up” is ALWAYS “Yeah, I’ve seen that one already. Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.”

I understand that some people have to feel like their current and up to date on everything, which is why shows like GoT and House of Cards are still on the air. House of Cards is basically Scandal now, and I’ve actually heard that GoT isn’t even following the plot of the books anymore. If you like either of those shows then I don’t know what to tell you. You like what everyone else likes. Congratulations. Just know that I don’t care, and for the love of God, don’t try and talk to me about plot points this weekend.

Image via YouTube

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Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail:

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