The circular reasoning of, “I don’t go out because I don’t have any friends,” and, “I don’t have any friends because I don’t go out.” PGP.

Working for a company that does not even recognize “Casual Fridays.” PGP.

I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.

Earning shit money as I gear up to take the series 7. PGP.

Switched from a windsor to a four-in-hand tie knot today. Things are getting pretty wild. PGP.

Tosh.O has been replaced by Closing Bell on CNBC. PGP.

If Sallie Mae was a real person, I’d hunt her down and punch her in the fucking face. PGP.

“What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?” PGP.

Deleted my birth year on Facebook. PGP.

Checking over your shoulder before opening up a bikini picture on Facebook. PGP.