Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

The single pube on the top of the urinal. PGP.

I’d rather be the worst player on the PGA tour every week, than the best employee in my department. PGP.

Jared Leto visited our office for some reason today. Almost asked him if he’s still handling the Fisher account. PGP.

Anytime I open a link in a new window instead of a new tab, I get irrationally angry. PGP.

I should probably start giving a shit. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

Spending more money on food at the gas station than the grocery store. PGP.

FOMCC. Fear of making cold calls. PGP.