Black coffee. Black pants. Black laptop. Black pen. Black soul. PGP.

I haven’t spoken out loud to a single actual person today. PGP.

Access to the requested site has been restricted due to its contents. PGP.

Sure working at Initech was soul-crushing, and Lumbergh was a douche, but at least they got Hawaiian shirt Fridays. PGP.

It’s a 10 minute walk from my parking space to the office. PGP.

I bought season tickets for the minor league hockey team in town because I thought it’d be a great way to treat friends and clients. I went to 15 games alone. PGP.

The janitor and I both stare out the window wistfully. I assume we’re both thinking that the third floor just isn’t quite high enough. PGP.

Accidentally swiped left on the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. PGP.

My boss just asked if I’ve heard the song “What does the fox say?” PGP.

One day you’re Facebook creeping on girls in bikinis for Spring Break, the next you’re Facebook creeping on girls in bikinis for their honeymoons. PGP.