Turns out 9 to 5 is just an expression

Using extra hand sanitizer to mask the smell of last night’s happy hour.

It is Thursday, which means it is almost Friday, which is the weekend which is right before Monday. Shit, it’s almost Monday. #PGP

Being so out of shape you can drink a 40 faster than you can run a 40. PGP

My cholesterol is higher than my credit score. PGP.***If you dont like that one. Try the one below***My credit score isn,t as high as my blood pressure. PGP.

Your 60 year old co-worker walking up, giving you a fist bump, and walking away #PGP

Not going to happy hour on Wednesday because you plan to go out on Saturday.

Receiving calls about donating to the university even though you haven’t finished paying them back for when you attended. PGP

Using the “It will evaporate” technique on spills including liquids that aren’t water. PGP.

Trying to think of the most politically correct way to say something. PGP.