My ears hairs are noticeable.

My Outlook isn’t working, but I’m holding off submitting a ticket to IT, so I can enjoy an empty inbox.

Made a Ryan Braun joke after a drug test… My boss didn’t laugh.

Nothing makes you sound busier than the sound of a three hole punch. PGP.

Already stressing about the imminent hangover 48 hours before I start drinking.

My biggest fear is ending up like my older coworkers.

Not only did my boss join me in the restroom, but proceeded to not wash his hands

finally getting to see sunshine during the week thanks to daylight savings time.

calling the bank on fraud credit charges, then realizing it was just something you bought when you were blacked out.

This year I have “Dyson Vacuum” and “Sonicare” on my birthday list.