The only “present” I got for my 26th birthday was a health insurance bill. PGP.

Last one in, first one out.

Last year tequila sunrises on the beach, this year office spring cleaning

Being on a first name basis with the night security staff. PGP.

Regretting getting your college friend a job in your office.

Taking Tums while at the bar.

G chat is down across the country. Worst Monday ever.

I have no cell service at my cube, so I took up smoking so I can go out back and Tinder PGP.

Caring more about power tools and vacuum cleaners than you ever have #PGP

Rolling up your sleeves to look busy instead of actually doing work. #PGP