Not announcing yourself when you join a conference call, and sheepishly stating your name when asked, “Who just joined?” PGP.

Faking an injury after winning a pickup basketball game so you can go out on top. PGP.

The janitor and I both stare out the window wistfully. I assume we’re both thinking that the third floor just isn’t quite high enough. PGP.

Drafting the offer letter for your replacement. PGP.

RE: The person that starts their email message in the subject line…And finishes their statement in the actual email. PGP.

Debating between letting your social life flourish or living like a hermit and contributing all extra dollars to a retirement account. PGP.

“Want to go in on a wedding gift together?” PGP.

Stopping for Tums and condoms before a third date. PGP.

Spent over four hours today trying to figure out the Rubik’s Cube on the Google home page. PGP.

1: “Let’s do lunch.” 2: “If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I wouldn’t need this job.” PGP.