If Sallie Mae was a real person, I’d hunt her down and punch her in the fucking face. PGP.

Hearing friends’ salaries and knowing I picked the wrong major. PGP.

I spend every morning praying for Chipotle to roll out a breakfast menu. PGP.

I have been assigned my company’s “Fire Warden.” Had to sit in a two hour meeting for the building’s fire drill on Friday complete with orange vest distribution. PGP.

Just deleted a game to make room for a grocery store app on my phone. PGP.

The last time the World Cup was on I was drunk in college. Now, I’m hungover in a cubicle. PGP.

Quit my job on my birthday. Best gift I have ever received. PGP.

The most rebellious thing I have done lately was change my company computer’s wallpaper. PGP.

I like to live life on the edge in that sometimes I go grocery shopping without a list. PGP.

Now I know what my parents were talking about. PGP.