I’m six weeks late…to get my oil changed. PGP.

Your most positive thought of the day being, “Maybe today won’t suck that bad.” PGP.

Understanding what the “Friends” theme song was all about more and more every single day of my life. PGP.

Too young to know better. Old enough to have to give a damn. PGP.

I’m seriously considering moving in with a girl I’m not that interested in just so I can save 50% on rent. PGP.

My mom wraps my wedding gifts. PGP.

Passing out after four beers during a World Cup match between two teams you couldn’t care less about. PGP.

I seriously considered quitting my office job to go back to life as a cart girl and life guard for the summer. Those were the good ol days. PGP

According to my calculations, it will at least two years until I can afford 2-ply toilet paper. PGP.

Had to explain to a colleague what Bonnaroo is today. They couldn’t comprehend and hadn’t heard of any of the artists that played besides Elton John and Lionel Richie. PGP.