Getting a new match on Tinder gives me the same false promise that my degree did. PGP.

It used to be “No new friends” because I didn’t want any. Now it’s “no new friends” because I can’t make any. PGP.

“What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?” PGP.

Frantically turning the volume down when what you thought was just an ESPN article turns out to be a video. PGP.

The excitement of your college buddies coming to visit being overshadowed by the fear of the hit to your bank account. PGP.

I just saw a bird crash into the window, break its neck, and fall to it’s death. Lucky bastard. PGP.

Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

I don’t know if I’m terrible at budgeting or if I’m just not making enough money. PGP.

Doing a phone interview from the parking lot of your current employer. PGP.

For Lent, I’m giving up. Like in general, just giving up. PGP.