James Harden gets 200 million from Adidas and I can’t even get a key card to park in the work garage.

My work spouse is starting to send me good morning texts. PGP

The excitement of a new Tinder match, followed by the disappointment of it not being human. PGP

Everyone’s first question when getting an invite to the wedding “Open bar?” PGP

That moment of panic walking into work wearing jeans and you’re not sure if it’s Friday or Thursday. PGP.

Constantly forwarding emails I sent to my boss to him again because he’s “pretty sure” he wasn’t copied on it. PGP.

I am at the biological peak of my life and spend it at a desk

We don’t have Internet today. Now I have to interact with my co workers.

My boss warned me that too much coffee could give me a heart attack. PGP

Half-joking about wiring all my clients’ funds to my own account