There are seven Mikes in our office. PGP.

I have to hold the world record for consecutively hitting exactly $20.00 at the pump. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

Friend-zoning myself in record time. PGP.

Saying you’re “looking forward to working together” to someone you despise. PGP.

I’m going to attempt to relive my glory days this weekend. Pray for me. PGP.

Tried a new, calmer sounding alarm this morning. Overslept by almost two hours. PGP.

Moved one time zone east. Now the PGP posts start one hour later. PGP.

Just broke up with my girlfriend. First thing I did was look at PGP for how to Tinder. PGP.