We don’t have a Steve in my office. PGP.

I saw the sun for 20 minutes today. PGP.

Button just popped off my pants. I’m giving a presentation in 20 minutes. My belt hides it, but I don’t know what will hide my shame. PGP.

My Halloween news feed went from a bunch of girls in slutty costumes to a bunch of babies in costumes. PGP.

Jake from State Farm working until three in the morning, PGP.

We hired two “quality control officers” to monitor office productivity. My office literally just brought in “The Bobs.” PGP.

“Dress socks” with Nike swooshes on them on laundry day. PGP.

Getting asked by every fucking friend and family member if you know Jake upon accepting a job with State Farm. PGP.

Went through 30 pages of PGPs. Still not time to go home. PGP.