I like to pretend that the super hot bank teller is flirting with me, but deep down I know she’s just really nice to everyone. PGP.

I put in my two weeks notice and took a two hour lunch. PGPM.

Threw out some vodka in my freezer to make room for Hot Pockets. PGP.

My week feels like Monday, Monday #2, Monday #3, Monday #4, Friday, Saturday, Pre-Monday. PGP.

Went to bed last night with a smile on my face thinking about the coffee I would have this morning. PGP.

Took 13 hours to drive home. Took 13 hours and one minute to realize I left my apartment keys at my parents’ house. PGP.

Please kill me if I ever become the person in the office who wears the blinking Christmas lights necklace. PGP.

Having the attitude, but not the energy to be the office prankster. PGP.

Hearing songs from your childhood on a classic rock station. PGP.

Google is the only one outside of those with familial obligations that wished me a happy birthday. PGP.