I feel like a western gunslinger whenever I alt-tab as my boss walks by. PGP

The interns were my ghost writers.. PGP

If anyone actually saw how I eat alone in my cubicle, they would be disgusted. #PGP.

Just got an outlook invite for an ice cream and cake party to celebrate my last day of work. Fuck. PGP

I’m currently getting paid 28.25 an hour to watch netflix at my desk. PGP.

I’m basically the Jim Halpert of the office, and I just got yelled at for it.

When married guys come into the office happier than usual I just assume they got laid last night. PGP.

The more I have to listen to my middle-age coworker complain about new technology in the office the more I understand the psyche of Patrick Bateman.PGP.

Experienced a minor victory this morning when due to my savage hangover, vomited in the shower, but aimed for and hit the drain perfectly.

And just like that, all the hot interns are back at school