This year, my stock portfolio gained the equivalent of 20 minutes of parking downtown. PGP.

Waiting for your boss’s boss to leave so your boss will leave so you can leave. PGP.

I’ll get a bed frame one of these days. PGP.

Asking Santa for a better job. PGP.

Another day, another 50 résumés sent. PGP.

All I want for Christmas is a career change. PGP.

Staying late so no one catches you taking meeting leftovers home for dinner. PGP.

I’ve reached a zen-like level of apathy. PGP.

My bank account sits at -$13.47. I am worth negative one medium, no topping pizza. PGP.

Young enough to hate gray hairs. Too poor to do anything about it. PGP.