I got dumped on a Sunday afternoon. PGP.

The only napkins in my house are from Chipotle. PGP.

“Please replace paper in tray 2”. PGP.

Feeling an inexplicable wave of nostalgia whenever I listen to John Mayer. PGP.

8 hours of work post-gamed with 8 hours of dreams about work. PGP.

Using Shift when Caps Lock is on. PGP.

Downloading MyFitnessPal and getting nervous it’s feedback is going to tell you you’re an alcoholic. PGP.

Day 2 at my new job. Accidentally set my brand new key card on fire. PGP.

My boss indirectly told me he only keeps me around because I’m pretty. PGP.

“Did you see the eclipse?” PGP.