Sneezed at the urinal, pissed on my tie. PGP.

Shit’s expensive. PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

Negative 16 hours of vacation time and counting. Maybe no one will notice. PGP.

Just got my first email about my ten year high school reunion. Time to start working out. PGP.

Trading in the beer shits for the coffee ones. PGP.

Getting hit on by a cougar and iced out by someone your age. PGP.

I don’t know if I’m shaking from the caffeine or the hangover. PGP.