It’s not that I’m antisocial, it’s just that I don’t give a fuck anymore. PGP.

There is a cute girl that sits across from me at work. I have no idea how to handle this situation. PGP.

I’ve perfected the art of using a diagonal piece of bread as a hot dog bun. PGP.

Please don’t hold the elevator. I’d rather wait than say “good morning.” PGP.

I had a panicked dream that I couldn’t find parking, missed my business flight, and didn’t have money for a flight change at the airport. I don’t even travel for work. PGP.

Found out they’re moving me to Omaha. PGP.

I’m one “reply all” email away from a mental breakdown. PGP.

Just asked my intern what I’m supposed to be doing. PGP.

My friends wont give me their work emails. PGP.

I haven’t had actual paper currency in my wallet in weeks. PGP.