CFO responded to a company-wide email about meeting our yearly goal with nothing but “Dilly Dilly!” PGP.

Using seasonal affective disorder as a cover for your alcoholism. PGP.

Typing rebuttal emails in word knowing you can’t actually send them without extensive editing if you want to keep your job. PGP.

Sometimes I just sit in the bathroom and think about life. PGP.

I have a work mom rather than a work wife. PGP.

My coworkers were talking about their stock returns the other day and the only thing I was thinking about was how fast I shotgunned that beer after work Friday. PGP.

“Don’t forget to dial 9 first.” PGP.

Swiping right on an obvious fake, just in case. PGP.

That knowing “you’re gonna go get fucked up, aren’t you?” look from your boss when you tell him you’re taking PTO to go to Vegas. PGP.

“Please hold for the next available representative.” PGP.