Realized at a high school grad party that I’m the drunk cousin. PGP.

Flirting with the HR girl has to be a trap. PGP.

Coworker just asked me if I ever drink so much that I feel sick the next morning. I’m hungover right now. PGP.

Was called “sir” multiple times today by a college freshman. PGP.

Waking up late and getting to work on time means I just found my new wake up time. PGP.

Redownloading the Bumble and Tinder apps. PGP.

I was the only one left in the office at 5:00, and the janitor came by my desk and informed me, “You know, you’re not getting any extra credit for staying late.” PGP.

When you crack a beer at 3, and Pandora immediately plays an ad about addiction. PGP.

Refusing to read the “best jobs of 2017” articles because they make me too depressed. PGP.